dont wish it was easier, wish you were better

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010...I really feel like this year is meant to be. I've worked hella hard on stepping up on my choreo game, of course still got a LONG way to go, but I have a feeling this year I will be one step closer to where I want to be. Where you ask? Hell if i know, one step out of Verizon LOL. I assume people think when I say I wanna dance forever that I just wanna dance at a studio, teach and be broke for the rest of my life. Hellz to the no. I may not know where exactly I wanna be, but I wanna be Ballin as a choreographer, I wanna be hired to choreograph winning pieces at competitions, I wanna teach workshops and get rained on my sneakers from students (preferably Nike hightops Size 8). But in order to be at that level, I HAVE to work hard everyday. JAMES THOR PROJECTS arent just little projects I do for fun, yeah they ARE fun, but they showcase what I'm capable of putting together and showcasing that THIS is something SERIOUS to me. Sometimes is frustrating when I want to be inspired, I can't go take a class here in Wilmington. I believe if I lived out west I could be a lot closer to where i wanna be, but its cool, if I was meant to be at that level I wouldve been already. Sometimes I just gotta be patient and work on my craft. so Heres to 2010!!!! I cannot wait to see what's in store!

So its about that Time again. JAMES THOR PROJECT 2! Im excited to start back choreographing for a GREAT group of dancers who will definitely make my vision come to LIFE. I'm also flattered that dancers are interested in being in the project. It makes me believe that Im doing something right. The first project was definitely a success and I finally got to choreograph the way I want and show people that hip-hop isnt all about tricks and ass shaking. I've definitely learned a lot from the first and will apply those lesson learned to the second. For now...we'll just have to wait and see..

When you're good at something, people assume that you love doing it. I think people still wonder why I don't do photography anymore. Truthfully the reason why I don't do it anymore is because I don't get inspired the way I used to, the passion isnt there. I remember being a freshmen/sophomore and getting so excited when I would take a great photo. I think photography was the first thing I was ever 'good' at. It gave me the opportunity to put a fantasy into reality, and it also gave me the opportunity to meet really good people, and really shitty people lol, but more good than bad. I got see see a lot of things around town that I would definitely not have seen or been exposed to. I honestly believe when you do something you put your whole heart into it. Why strive to be mediocre when you can be the fuckin BEST. For a time, photography was my life and I think I progressed rather quickly for never taking a class and always watching America's Next Top Model haha. The reason i'm writing this is because some people think I'm wasting a 'talent' by not doing it anymore, but is it really wasting it when my heart isn't in it? This past year I was rejected when I applied for the Fashion Institute of technology in NYC. I, of course was disappointed, but it was a sigh of relief because I rather not have gotten accepted then be accepted and take the place of someone who REALLY wanted to be a photographer. I think life is full of opportunities and I'm definitely not going to put the camera away, it's just a hobby that i'll do once in a while. Who knows, maybe one day the fire might come back and I'll make a comeback, but for now it is what it is.

I wonder if its too much to rechoreogh a song I did previously, and now that Im learning my style of musicality, Im beginning to hear the beats that I didnt previously. Like LOVE LOCKDOWN....damn that beat is tooo SICK!...ugh, oh well lol

Its not nothing new if you know me that I don't really like my job, but I mean, who really does anyway? Something that keeps me going is the fact that everyday when I wake up, its one day closer to dancing, one day closer to doing something that I LOVE doing, and that is teaching dancing. Of course there are days where I get discouraged but I try to stay positive and remind myself that at the end of the day, I AM making moves and one day SOON, I WILL be doing something I want to do. The hardest part in anything is waiting for it to happen. What keeps me motivated is my dancers and all the people in the world who inspire to do things bigger than themselves.

Its awesome to finally realize that all my insecurities as far as being a choreographer was wrong. I always thought I was supposed to move a certain way, find the regular beat like everyone else, choreograph to songs that everyone else would like. At the end of the day, if what I do is making me happy then I should do what i want and not worry about what everyone else wants me to do. I think its weird now that Im finally confident enough to explore those options that I didnt before, ppl are liking the new direction and musicality that I'm going into. I dont know, I guess what im trying to say is, never doubt yourself and always believe that if what you do is making you happy, continue to do it regardless of what others think, as long as its not hurting anyone else.